Dog scared of my brother

Share your favorite training tips, ideas and methods with other Positively members!

Moderators: emmabeth, BoardHost

Post Reply
ecurryst
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:28 pm

Dog scared of my brother

Post by ecurryst »

Hi everyone, our family has two German Shepherds, one of whom is 8 years old. We got her from a rescue organization last year; she was taken with 11 other German Shepherds from a backyard breeding/hoarding situation in Kentucky. She is a fantastic dog, but the only problem is that she lives in mortal terror of my brother, and other tall, young men in their late teens- early 20's (she's fine with older men, including my dad). Evidently someone that fits the profile of my brother really hurt her and she has not forgotten it. She is so terrified of him that she refuses to eat when he's in the house and is too scared to even take food from his hand (my brother shot a video of him offering her a piece of hotdog right up to her face while she's plastered to the couch and turning her face away). She paces around the house frantically when he's home and follows my mother everywhere, only leaving her side to check on where he is. If he goes up the stairs she goes to the bottom of the stairs and watches him go up, whichever room in the house he's in she will stand outside on the threshold and watch him fearfully; she has to know where he is at all times. If he comes upon her unexpectedly she fear-growls and runs away as fast as she can. My mother has also reported her acting warily when other tall young men go by while she's walking her (though not with all).
She sees our 1 year old German Shepherd playing with my brother happily and being loved on by him, yet she still can't appreciate that he does not want to hurt her either. It's something we've come to learn to live with, but I just feel so bad that she's in such needless pain and anxiety. She genuinely believes my brother is going to hurt her the moment he gets the chance, and she is determined not to get caught out, always feeling that she needs to be "ready" for him. My brother's hurt and hostile feelings concerning her rejection of him have largely been cancelled out by the puppy, but he still feels like she "hates" him, when in fact she's just scared of him. We've tried everything we can think of (food, being in same room, etc), and nothing seems to work. We've been resigned to just living with it, but I just wish she was happier. Can anyone offer any advice as to how to fix this problem? My brother would be her best friend if she'd only let him.
Shalista
Posts: 1363
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: Dog scared of my brother

Post by Shalista »

it sounds like you understand that she's absolutely terrified and kudos to you for trying to work through. it's possible that she found a piece of hot dog up in her face even more terrifying. He probably had to get pretty close for that. I know where your coming from. my dog Bax was terrified of everyone when i first got him. we got him more people friendly by giving him some space. when my brother came over he totally ignored Bax except to occasionally throw some super high-value food on the floor (bacon or hot dog) as he was walking by. no eye contact, no lingering to see if the dog ate it. just toss and walk away. She might learn to look forward to him coming into the room or at least tolerate his presence if she understands that food magically falls from the sky whenever he's around.

she might be to stressed for even that though so sit tight and wait for the experts before you try anything. :wink:
Baxter (AKA Bax, Chuckles, Chuckster) Rat Terrier, born 01/16/13
ScarletSci
Posts: 463
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 3:44 pm

Re: Dog scared of my brother

Post by ScarletSci »

Yes, it's fear, likely from a previous experience, that's causing her reactions, not hating your brother. I can see how hard it is for him, and why it feels personal, but she will also be highly sensitive to his moods and his reactions, so he needs to try to accept that it's fear causing this, and not fear of HIM exactly, she hasn't had the chance yet to get to know him after all - but fear from whatever trauma she likely suffered before.

Slowly and gently is the way to work through this.

How is she generally out of the house? I might consider working on this outside at first, perhaps in the garden, or some dogs may be more comfortable allowing him to be relatively close on walks. You'd need to assess what her comfortable distance is for him to be at, before she reacts. A good and sensitive trainer who has experience of rehabbing rescue dogs might be well worth the money you would invest. A good rescue might be able to recommend a trainer they work with?

In the meantime, talk to your brother, and get him on side. He needs to be on board to try to work through this at the dogs own pace. Nothing like trying to force a hot dog into her face - that's just adding to her trauma, even if he's not meaning too. He needs to ignore her as much as possible, keep his voice low, movements slow and smooth, be as non-threatening (in dog language) as possible. Not make eye contact, talk to her, try to pet her or jolly her into being friends with him yet. Her fear will be provoking a huge release of stress chemicals that won't allow her to see that he doesn't mean any harm. Yet. Small steps will be the only way. Even getting to the point where he can be in the house without her freaking out and watching him will be a huge leap in progress.

But, it is possible to work through this, it's not easy or quick, but it is possible, with the right attitudes and willingness, endless patience, and some more guidance on how to de-sensitise your dog.
Post Reply