Rescue dog snapped at daughter

[emmabeth]

She is a fast learner, good stuff.

Remember, actions speak louder than words so if in doubt, just stop, walk away, re-visit the task at hand after a few minutes. This is safe, non confrontational and should give her a clear understanding that chucking herself about or barking at you or snapping at hands in excitement isn't going to work.

It is brilliant that she likes the crate too, excellent progress there, and it really does sound like shes really trying hard to communicate with you, and she is grasping that you are listening to her!

[ladybug1802]

Hi....I wont go over what has already been said, but I think its great you have got her a crate! MY rescue dog was very nervous when I got him, and that turned into fear aggression to strangers....a lot better now but my point is, he has a crate and he loves it! I hardly ever shut the door, but it is covered over with a blanket so it is like a cave, and he takes himself off in there to sleep. He has one at my parents house and a month or so ago their friends came over with their new puppy....Dylan said hello to puppy then disappeared off, and he had taken himself into his crate! I think its great as its somewhere the dogs can go if they feel anxious as it is all safe and cosy....just make sure you always leave her be when she is in there....which it soudns like you are doing!

As for feeling nervy round her when she stares at you, I can understand it, but just ignore her. I am sure her looking at you is down to her insecurity......just doint stare back at her as eye contact like that is very confrontational in the doggie world! Just ignore her, leave her be, and maybe call her over to you by not looking at her, and giove her a stroke if she wants.

[Nettle]

Make sure her crate stays her 'safe place' and don't let anybody go up to her when she is in her crate. This is very important - if people go up and talk to a dog or poke fingers into the crate or try and stroke the dog through the bars or stare at the dog - the crate becomes a place of fear where she is trapped and can't get away.

Have you put a blanket over the top of the crate? This makes it nice and den-like.

[Noobs]

This is splitting hairs, but try to stay away from thinking of yourselves as her "masters." If you tweak that slightly to just think of your whole family as her teachers and her guides, then it removes that "I'm in charge and she should know it" mindset. It's a much happier way to think of your relationship.

I think you're doing AWESOME for your first week. What a lucky dog to have found a family who sought help straightaway.

[csdodd]

Hello

Huge thanks to everyone for your comments and advice, it is all being taken on board.

I apologise if this is becoming like a diary but it is helping me track Miya's progress and ours!

Just arrived home after hairdressers so I was late today. Hubby got home at usual time and eldest daughter has been in through the day. I am really rather upset.

Miya has been in her crate all day and eldest daughter has had it shut. Now the likelihood is that she would have not left the crate but she has not been given the option. She did let her out to go round the garden but I think she has purposely left her in there because she is wary after the dog snapped at her yesterday-understandable but not fair on Miya at all.

Obviously Hubby has then come home to a very excited dog. She was all giddy when the lead came out, something we thought we had cracked last night. He took her out and just walked her around the garden, again because she was very nervous about the noise of the traffic etc. He then fed her and she went back out and did her business.

I have arrived home and she was excited, mouthing my hands and trying to jump up, so I ordered her down and she settled but she is whiny whenever hubby leaves the room.

We have not had our youngest daughter here since last night, she is opting to sleep out at Nan and Grandad's (who childmind her through the holidays). I feel upset that this is because she is scared to be at home.

I am feeling stressed because I have to go for a breast cancer diagnosis on Friday, hubbys Mum has to go for a colonoscopy (for Bowel Cancer diagnosis) on Saturday and our family feels disjointed a little. I really want to know that Miya and the whole family can co-habit with our work, but it seems like the children are too wary of her. It is making me feel so sad to know they would rather not be here or lock her in all day! I am praying this will pass with them but am having a blip day where I am doubting everything.

Any reassurance would be great.

Kind Regards

Colleen

To be honest it seems like one step forward, one step back.

[Nettle]

Sounds to me as if you need a biiig family conference where each person is allowed to speak in turn without interruption. You need to know where everyone is with this dog-owning business, and if everyone is prepared to help the dog to adjust to her new life. If you haven't got the whole family on board, it is unfair to those who are doing the work, and most of all unfair to the dog, who didn't choose to live with you.

Right now you are all in a very stressful time. This comes to all of us at times, and then we have to reconsider what systems we have in place to get through these difficulties. Rescue dogs, as jacksdad says, do not come ready to go. They need work, training, patience, commitment, understanding. We can help you with advice, but the family needs to be at one with the issues.

You have not had this dog long. She has a shedload of baggage still to unpack. If the family does not feel able to help her, it might be the kindest decision on all of you to take her back to the shelter.

This does not mean that you have failed or that something bad has happened. We are all allowed to make mistakes. If the dog needs more than the collective family is able to give right now, she is better off with a home that can make that commitment. Later on when your other issues have resolved, you might like to consider offering a home to another dog, but one that has been chosen more carefully. Dogs are not one size fits all, and what suits one family will not suit another.

[JudyN]

I'm sorry you're having such a stressful time. Best of luck with the medical matters.

Obviously Hubby has then come home to a very excited dog. She was all giddy when the lead came out, something we thought we had cracked last night. He took her out and just walked her around the garden, again because she was very nervous about the noise of the traffic etc. He then fed her and she went back out and did her business.

I have arrived home and she was excited, mouthing my hands and trying to jump up, so I ordered her down and she settled but she is whiny whenever hubby leaves the room.

You have had her for such a short time, and having been in the crate all day it's understandable that she would be excited and mouthy. If I don't manage my dog's energy levels he'll still clamp his jaws round my arm (gently...ish). Also, I think with any dog with 'issues' there will be days where it all goes wrong... you can look back and see what led up to and caused an incident, and learn from it for next time, but it's still a setback. And if the dog has got stressed, it can take a few days for the stress levels and resultant behaviour to subside.

I agree with Nettle that you do need to talk with your girls about this. They can be told how they can live safely with the dog but as I've said, there may well be times when it goes wrong and as well as being unfair on you and the dog, it's unfair to ask the girls to live with a dog they're scared of if they're not prepared to work with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with returning the dog if your girls and/or you have genuine concerns for their safety.

[ladybug1802]

I echo what Nettle and Judy have said. Rescue dogs more often than not do need a lot of time, patience and work etc to turn them into the loving pet we want them to become. I have had my dog for nearly 2 years and after 6 months of very concerted effort with his fear aggression, only now have we turned a real corner and I am seeing a much happier dog. Now your dog wont need THAT much work but it was just to point out that it is very true that the whol;e family needs to have an action plan as it were so you all know what you are going to be doing and what route you will be going.

All day shut in the crate is not good.....but you know that!

You really have not had this girl long at all...it is VERY early days. We have all gone through very stressful times (if you want to get an idea have a look at some of my past posts from last year, and then at my more recent ones, and you will see....I sounded like a woman on the edge last year!! ) so you are in good hands here!

[csdodd]

Again thanks for the replies.

After a glass of wine and a chat with my hubby I think I may be being a little over-sensitive. Georgia, our youngest daughter rang us earlier, first thing she asked was if Miya was ok and if we could take her to see our friend Gary because she has seen him today and told him we have a dog. I asked her if she is staying at Nans again because of the dog, she said no, it's because I want to sleep and laughed.
I think I may be blowing my own fears out of proportion because I am stressed about other issues-this dog has displayed no aggression, not barked, not snarled, only air snapped when she has been upset or anxious. I feel guilty for pre-judging her on what I read in the media and know it is my behaviour that needs looking at just as much as hers.

I played some games with Miya earlier, where I asked her to sit, give paw and then threw her treat up for her to chase and catch. We did this a few times and she got super giddy but calmed when I told her to.

Hubby took her for her first walk around the block since she went the other night and she did well having her lead put on and loved her walk. Apparently she had a little nosey at a passerby and some dogs across the street but didn't bark or seem on edge with them being in the area, so we hope this is a sign she is feeling more confident of noises and other living creatures, of the 2 and 4 legged kind.

She is settled now, just laying in the living room and occasionally wandering around for a nosey, or coming up for a stroke.

I think a glass of wine and an early night will help and hope once this weekend is out of the way and fingers crossed good news is had all round, then I will be far more relaxed.

Today has been a difficult day with me being contacted from the hospital and I think THAT is the problem.

Again huge thanks

[ladybug1802]

It is only natural when we have other stresses in life, to see other things as even MORE stressful than they would seem on a 'normal' day! I totally get it!

One thing I would advise against at the moment is taking her to see your friend....just for the time being....just give her time to settle first!

My thoughts are with you with the medical side of things as well. x

[csdodd]

Hi Ladybug

We told Georgia no. We don't want to overwhelm her and think that definitely will.
He has a managerie of pets of all kinds in his garden and Miya would either want to eat them all, play with them all or run from them all lol!

Can someone tell me why she is always trying to lay her head in our laps. We can be sat here and she comes over, tail wagging lays her head in our lap but to the side so she can see us and puts her paws on our legs. We pet her for a few minutes but when we stop stroking her she licks our hands and then she will sit down at the side of our legs almost like she is nudging into us...it is like our feet are not there and she will just sit on them regardless...is this normal behaviour??

[ladybug1802]

She luurves you!!! I dont really know...but its normal in my home thatd for sure! Dylan will come over to me and nuzzle his head under my arm if he wants a cuddle....if I stroke him then stop, he will try again or rest his head on my legs and look up at me! That always gets the desired result coz he looks jusyt so darn cute! He often puts his paw on me while I am stroking him, and likes me to stroke his chest while he rests his paw on me! he does know an 'enough' command so if he is being a bit too pushy and I am, for example, on the sofa on my laptop working, I stroke him for a bit then say enough and he looks at me as if to say "aww really???" then lays down at my feet!! I think your girl,like Dylan, just likes to be near you...I think its a good sign!

[Sarah83]

It's normal behaviour here If my lap is empty I have a dogs head in it pretty damn quick. My guess is that she's asking for attention. I sometimes give Rupe attention when he does this, sometimes I'll tell him to go and lie down, depends what I'm doing. Some people would tell you you should never give a dog attention when they ask for it but personally I think that's a load of old rubbish.

[ladybug1802]

Yes I think its riubbish too Sarah! IN my opinion I have my dog because he is my companion and I adore him....I love cuddling him and giving him attention and if he asks for it, he wants it so more often than not, unless I am in the middle of something, he gets it. Otherwise he gets a quick stroke, and an 'enough' then gets cuddles later on!

I think the people who say you shouldnt give them attention when they ask are the people who also feel that by the dog doing this they are trying to exert their 'dominance' over you! And we all know that is a load of rubbish!!

[csdodd]

Awww that makes me feel so good to read that...she likes us .