Friends came to the house last night......

[ladybug1802]

....for the first time in a while as I have, if I am honest, tended to avoid having people round! I had planned on taking Dylan outside to meet my friends and then walking in together - this didnt work THAt well, but only I think, because it was dark, and he could just see 2 strange figures and was barking...I do reckon if it had been daylight it would have been good.

So we walked in together - me first, into the living room. He still was barking, but not as frantically as he has before....and what I was really pleased about is I stayed calm and wasnt worried, and when I blocked him from them and asked him to s'it' and 'watch me' he did! Now when I had that 'behaviourist' lady round, he got so stressed and frantic that he couldnt even hear what I was saying I dont think - he defintely would not look at me on command. SO I was pleased with this. So he had stopped barking, and I put him in the kitchen.....in my house you can go in a bit of a circle from hall into living/dining room, living room into kitchen, kitchen into hallway....I have a permanent baby gate inbetween the kitchen and hallway, and had put another one up between kitchen and living room, so he could still hear and see us.

So I put him in there for 15 mins while we chatted, and gave him a frozen Kong which had melted cheese in it.....then when we sat at the table, I left the baby gate open and he bought his kong into the living room and chewed it some more. Eventually he came and investigate us at the table and my friends ignored him.....and by the time we were on dessert he had come up to my friend Steve and was sitting next to him while Steve stroked his chest and under his chin! Then Dylan did what he often does with me and my family and people he knows well - he flopped on his back, legs in the air, and Steve strroked his belly!

Dylan then went off onto his bed to have a nap....and when we had fininshed dinner we all went back onto the sofas, and Dylan stayed on his bed which was great. In fact my friend Jo went to the toilet at one stage, and I didnt know how he would be when she came back in - absolutely fine! I went upstairs to get something, and Dylan did get off his bed, but he just wandered over the sofa where my friends were and sat and looked a bit tired and confused for a second!

Before they left I did take him into the kitchen behind the baby gates - only because the evening had gone so well that I didnt want anything to happen where he felt uncomfortable...so he sat behind the baby gate to the hall watching them put their coats on and me say goodbye to them!

I am sooo pleased with my boy......it proves to me that if I stay calm, and because I have gone back a couple of steps and not tried to force things, that once people are in, and he knows they are OK he is fine. Interesting though, as when they came in he did sniff Jo, which was good for him, and although I had said to them to totally ignore him, she did put her hand down and stroke behind his ear......Dylan just did a very quiet growl, and I said to her that that was because he needs time to work out that he is happy for someone to touch him - things need to be done slowly with him which is absolutely fine with me!

So very pleased.....but just need to work out what to do next time someone comes over, as clearly taking him outside to meet them when it is dark doesnt work. So I suppose I may shut him in the kitchen (or in his crate when I have got one and have trained him to see it as his safe place) until the people are in and settled? Any other ideas?

[emmabeth]

Good stuff, well done to you both!

[Noobs]

Firstly, well done to you!

Secondly, GOOD CHOICE to quit while you're ahead and end on a good note and putting Dylan behind the babygate for the goodbyes. You can build up to that later.

Thirdly... one "note" to you and that is you should probably not leave the room with Dylan unattended with your guests. Just as a safety precaution.

Finally, to your question. I also had a similar challenge with Murphy not being able to cope when meeting my friends outside in the dark. He saw one cat, then another, and he was riled up, next thing you know he came up behind my friend, he instinctively turned to look, and almost got his fingers nipped. What we decided to do for the time being is this:

- Friends call when they're alomst to the apartment (thank goodness for cell phones, huh?)
- I bring Murphy outside for a short walk, just a few houses down, back and forth, doing some light obedience to keep him occupied and also close enough so that I can still see my house.
- I leave the door open and my friends are instructed beforehand to go inside and sit on the couch.***
*** For this step, you can just wait until your friends are at your front door and then walk in together, so Dylan doesn't have to see them on the street but sees they're on their way in the house and all go in together. (Murphy isn't ready for that yet.)
- I bring Murphy back in, put him behind the babygate. At this point he can hear people in the house but not yet see them. He's rewarded for staying calm.
- I bring him out to the living room (on leash) with treats, do some really simple obedience drills again to keep his mind occupied - at this point I'm keeping his mind focused on the fact that he's getting food in the presence of people in the room.

The above method keeps him from seeing dark figures up ahead that he would otherwise be worrying over. He stays focused on me, we walk a little bit so he can have a pee and a sniff, etc. If you decide to go that route, after the final step you can then remove the leash or let Dylan drag it until he's comfortable.

Hope that helps!

[ladybug1802]

Oh thats a really good idea actually - I definitely could leave my door open and get them to go in ahead of me. I live in a quiet cul de sac with the houses set around a lawned area so if I walk him out and around i can see my house at all times so nice and safe.

I understand your point abot leaving him alone with guests, but I know from previous that he is absolutely fine with people once they have been in for a while....its really just the coming in the house and the initial 15 mins or so, where if they push things and dont just let him be he cant cope with it. But I know what you are saying, and I wouldnt leave him with everyone...plus I could see by how relaxed he was that he would be OK. I luckily can read him much better now.

But thanks so much for your comments and advice.....I will put it all into practice next time someone comes over!

[ladybug1802]

Oh and one question Noobs....how does Murphy react when he enters the room and sees other people sitting on the couch?

[ckranz]

Sounds like some great progress. I always love success stories. Keep with it and you will even see more changes over time. Keep your goals realistic...yet be ready to make new goals as current goals are reached.

[Noobs]

Oh and one question Noobs....how does Murphy react when he enters the room and sees other people sitting on the couch?

He's actually fine. He doesn't react. Then again, I go about bringing him into the room like I do when we're outside and I know there's a trigger nearby. I bring him in, on leash, giving him treats for focusing on me. I do some really simple obedience drills (watch me, sit, down, etc.) and he may or may not look directly at the person in the room. The person in the room is instructed to always ignore, always ignore, always ignore. But even if he doesn't look at the person directly, he knows there's someone there. We add little things like the persons sweater/coat/purse thrown over a chair next to the door, so he walks in, gives the item a few sniffs, and we continue to the other end of the room. So he knows there's someone there. I don't make him look at the person directly. It won't take long before he's approaching the person, who's tossing treats to the floor and still not making eye contact, and sniffing/greeting.

I'm not worried once the guests are inside AND they are ignoring him. I suspect he'd be okay if someone looked at him or said hello, but we're not taking any chances just yet. If someone tries to reach for him if he hasn't approached first, then we'd have trouble. But no one would do that anyway.

[Liz & Koa]

Hi Noobs,

I love this idea, but I am way to worried about Koa biting first asking questions later. I have not tried it yet, but a behaviorist told me I should have a person sitting instead of standing because it makes a HUGE dif. to the dog. I would like to do this with a basket muzzle on him ( he doesn't mind it becuase he seems to find cheese in it), but then it's very hard to give him treats, which help a lot.

Liz

[Noobs]

If you have a basket muzzle on him, wouldn't you be able to pass treats to him? I don't know, I've never seen one in person. Obviously the guest can't toss treats or he wouldn't be able to get to them. But if there is room for you to pass treats into the muzzle then you can still try it. Someone who's used a basket muzzle will probably be able to tell you better than I could though.

[Liz & Koa]

Hi noobs,

It's not bad becuase he can't pant, drink water and yes, I can pass small treats though it, but it's slow, so he's not getting it in the quickness I think he needs. I will try it with a girl I walk with who has two dogs. She is willing, but only with the muzzle on. I will work on my acuarcy at treat giving in the muzzle.

Thanks.

[jacksdad]

Hi Noobs,

I love this idea, but I am way to worried about Koa biting first asking questions later.

if this is the case, error on the side of caution. only you give treats right now. your visitor is there, but you and your dog are at maximum distance from the visitor possible, no enter action from the visitor. have a "escape" plan. position things so if your dog goes "bonkers" you can leave the room without having to pass the visitor etc.

You might even consider letting your dog get to know your visitor over the course of a few separate days in a neutral place. somewhere other than your house.

think of anyway possible to make this as stress free on your dog and as close to impossible to get wrong before introducing someone in your house.

remember you can't move at your pace. it has to be at your dog's pace and with in his comfort zone.

[Mattie]

Liz, you are sounding much better, asking questions and saying what you feel, keep it up and you will get there

[Liz & Koa]

Thanks!

[wvvdiup1]

AWESOME! Way to go Liz & Koa!